THE EMPTY MIDDLE OF THE CONSCIOUSNESS REVOLUTION

Why We Need To, And How We, Reinvent The Extended Family

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THE NEED FOR REVOLUTION

In my opinion it is utterly unacceptable that people who are psychologically ignorant, emotionally immature, and devoid of communication skills are negotiating on behalf of entire populations – and declaring wars!

What kind of a civilization would allow such things?!

Yes I want revolution! Not violent revolution. But I want modern civilization to revolve. I want it to turn full cycle – and emerge with an entirely new way-of-being.

Is it not utterly unacceptable that our education systems are relentless fact factories - training our children in obedience to the clock, and competitiveness, and filling them with hollow ideas of success – rather than taking them to stand in silence before the rising sun and the setting sun – and letting them discover their humility?

For me that´s not “woo woo” - it´s their birthright!

For me it´s utterly unacceptable that disease and death are not honoured, that hospitals are lit with neon lights, that the tender miracle of the body is treated like a machine.

It´s utterly unacceptable that cities are encircled by factories that look like a vision of hell – that more industry´s on its way (eco-industry) to save us from industrialization! – and that the land, sky and oceans, the animals, insects, birds and fish - and we ourselves - are all being sprayed and soaked with industrial, chemical shit.

How can anyone say we don´t need to turn this civilization around?! How can anyone say we don´t need a revolution?!

DECENTRALIZATION AND EMOTIONAL EDUCATION: THE FIRST TWO REVOLUTIONARY SPHERES

If you feel a charismatic politician will lead us to the promised land – or that some form of centralised government could oversee paradise on Earth – then you and I have very different ideas of the kind of revolution we need.

If you re-read my list of lunacies (above) you´ll see they all have one commonality: a lack of heart - a lack of love for each other, for nature, and for The Great Mystery of Existence Itself. So have we arrived in “woo woo land” after all?! Am I going to say that “all we need is love”? No, I am not!

I am going to say that our revolutionary endeavours need to be focused on establishing infrastructures that facilitate heartful decisions and action – and that heartful decisions and action are not made by massive corporations, or unwieldly bureaucracies – they are made by small groups of people who know each other. As the economist E.F. Schumacher said, “small is beautiful”! In other words – my first point is that (in order for us to be heart-led): the motif of our revolution needs to be decentralization – power returned to the community, local sovereignty, local responsibility, local care.

However, I think it´s obvious that just decentralization would not be enough to turn our civilization around. Even if the whole world was suddenly decentralized - people who were unable to manage their emotions, controlled by past traumas, and limited in their beliefs by narrow conditionings - would not be able to sustain flourishing, cooperative, heart-led local communities.

So my second point is that hand in hand with decentralization, we need emotional education. And I wouldn´t be surprised if you agree. Many, many people have voiced the need for these two spheres of revolutionary endeavour: (1) to decentralize and establish local, heart-led infrastructures, and (2) to educate ourselves psychologically and emotionally - so that we are able to inhabit our heart-led infrastructures heartfully.

However – and here is the bit you might not have heard before – I believe there is a third sphere, which I will call “the social sphere”, that we are overlooking – and without which, our decentralized and emotionally-educated revolution will be fragile and superficial, at best.

Is that meant to sound challenging? Yes, it is!

Initially challenging, but ultimately like an invitation – I hope!

THE EMPTY MIDDLE: THE MISSING THIRD SPHERE

What is the social sphere? The social sphere bonds a civilization´s hearts together. (Civilizations are made up of people, after all!) And what is the social sphere composed of? Families, extended families, clans, tribes. These kinship groups weave themselves together into local communities – which then combine to form societies, cultures – civilizations.

There are many, many worthy projects laying the foundations of decentralized, heart-led, local-community, ecological and economic infrastructures (sphere one). And I extend my respects to them all! There are also many, many worthy paths of therapy, healing, self-knowledge and awakening (sphere two). And again, I extend my respects to everyone who is committed to the beautiful, painful, joyful path of self-education. And – simultaneously - we need to be aware of a third sphere - the social sphere, the living thread that weaves us all together...

The social sphere is the sphere of intimate, affective bonds – the sphere of mutual care and support – the sphere in which we accompany and witness each other´s lives – the sphere in which we see each other become parents, and sometimes suffer and sometimes laugh - and grow old together. It is the sphere of the shared heart – the sphere in which we are mirrored and seen in our humanity. It is the sphere of our shared humanity.

And what I am saying is that unless we include this third, “middle” sphere in our revolutionary endeavours – then even if we become fully emotionally-educated individuals moving about freely within an excellently-structured, fully-decentralized civilization – because of our lack of long-term commitment to each other, and to each other´s children, and each other´s parents, and the place we have known together, and cared for together – we will be like strangers on a train – each of us travelling independently, autonomously - in “the right” direction, no doubt – but disassociated from the landscapes we are speeding through, and totally lacking the textures of intimacy and connection that grow between us, of their own accord, over time, when we share our lives: our pregnancies and births, festivities and celebrations, pain and illness, projects, creativities and achievements, struggles and conflicts and breakthroughs and joys, and ageing and death – and the one-million-and-one tiniest of exchanges that happen all-day-every-day when we greet each other, embrace, enquire about each other, and lend each other a hand.

THE SOCIAL SPHERE IS NOT JUST MISSING – IT HAS BEEN DISMEMBERED

So I am saying that for The Revolution of The Heart to succeed we need heart-led decentralization, emotional education - and the social sphere. But what is the current state of the social sphere? Well, it has been brutally dissected, and almost completely dismembered!

This dismemberment began in the nineteenth century, during the Industrial Revolution, when rural communities migrated to the cities to populate factory production lines. In the twentieth century the extended family was then further dissected - into the consumerist ideal “nuclear family”.

However, by the end of the century, the fabricated yet stable nuclear family of husbands and wives and “to death us do part” had been yet-further dissected (with the knife of individualism) into a colourful, hedonistic, romantic, painful chaos of serial-monogamy, single-parent households, step-parents and step-children, geographically dispersed households, instability, discontinuity, fragmentation and isolation.

That´s the situation today. But, in a way, this dismemberment of the social sphere is an advantage – in terms of The Revolution of The Heart. Nothing needs to be broken down. The social sphere as we once new it, in pre-industrial-revolution times, no longer exists. We are free to birth something new.

And just to be clear: I don´t believe we have to revive the traditional Extended Family. I don´t believe we have to nostalgically re-create what we once had. No. I believe we need to “reinvent” the Extended Family. I believe we need to reconfigure it – so that it is no longer based on biology, on our bloodlines – but on our shared values. But we will come to that in a minute. What I am saying, so far, is that without the “third” social sphere - our revolutionary endeavours will not cohere. I am saying that even if we decentralize, and even if we emotionally educate ourselves – without the social sphere our local communities will be “fragile and superficial, at best”.

FRAGILE AND SUPERFICIAL?

As so-called free-individuals, who are not lovingly, committedly bonded with each other, we are easily manipulated by ideas and ideals. Because we are not bonded with each other, because we are not bonded horizontally, we tend to bond vertically – with authority, with those “above”. Because there is no “us”, it is the only way we can fulfill our need to belong.

We might shout “by the people for the people”, and other such slogans, at demonstrations. But the sad fact is – there is no “people” - only a random, temporary convergence of strangers – held together by a thread, by a cause – who will disperse and return to their familiar, habitual individualities once their cause has run its course.

So while the destruction of the social sphere provides us with the opportunity to co-create anew – it is also a concerning situation – especially because the digital age has so emboldened those factions who seek increasingly centralized, corporate-governmental, global control.

Many of us recognize this. But we haven´t named The Need For The Social Sphere. Nor do we have a plan for its reinvention. We do what we can to get a taste of community - but our endeavours lack continuity. We go on a self-development weekend workshop – and we call ourselves “a tribe” - and perhaps we are, by the end of the weekend, when we stand in circle, arms around each other. But then we all go home - back to our individualized lives.

Or we experience a sense of community online – on a course, or because of a shared interest. But not only are such experiences rarely rooted in our everyday realities – once the course is over, or our interest changes, we just leave.

Sometimes we find togetherness in an intentional community, or cooperative, or communal project – until it dissolves – and everyone goes their separate ways. Whereas – if people were bonded as an Extended Family (even though a specific project had come to an end), they would continue to travel together, and share their lives.

Sometimes we find the togetherness of the social sphere inside a spiritual sangha, or church, mosque, or so-called “sect”. But again, when someone has a change of heart, or begins to see things differently - they leave. Their belonging to the “spiritual family” was dependent upon a belief.

We do what we can to survive the landscape of the decimated social sphere. And of course, despite it all – we find friends and lovers – and like wild grass growing amid the rubble, our hearts continue to shine. But if we truly want a revolution (a full rotation of our collective way-of-being), as we are discussing in this article – then we need a plan that has been carefully thought-through and felt-through...

So I hope that, as you read, my “challenge” is becoming more of an “invitation”. Again, it is this: that our revolutionary efforts will flounder unless we are united within the social sphere - at the level of the heart. And such unity is not superficial, or quick – it requires commitment – not to “the revolution”, but to each other. And it requires courage and sacrifice, honesty and openness, humility and kindness.

Which brings me to the question of why we are overlooking the social sphere. Yes, one reason is that we haven´t named its centrality – I agree. And I think its naming is crucial. But I also sense our “overlooking” is more than conceptual – and that unless we address whatever´s behind it, we´ll continue to “overlook”.

RESISTANCE TO THE FULL, THREE-SPHERE, HEART-LED REVOLUTION

Why are we overlooking the social sphere? Why are we not committing to each other - and devoting our time and energy to nourishing deep intimacy with our friends and neighbours? Why are we not evolving our own, new, local rituals to celebrate birth and death, and witness the turning of the year? Why are we not supporting each other practically - in simplifying, in living more naturally, in becoming less dependent on an undependable culture, in becoming more sovereign?

Before I talk about our resistances, I´d like to name two perhaps-more-subtle factors. Firstly: that we don´t miss what we´ve never known. When I lived in Barcelona, in the early 1970´s, all of my friends had grown up in rural villages. They considered the villages their real homes. They missed the village atmosphere (where the feeling of the Extended Family still lingered) - and went back as often as they could. Over the decades they gradually became more and more entangled in city life – and when they took their own children to their villages, those children didn´t feel they were “going home”, they felt they were going “on holiday” - to a remote, peaceful, rural location. Today those children now have children of their own – who might appreciate their grandparents´ stories of the Extended Family - almost a century ago in rural Spain. But do they miss that way of life? Of course not. They are children of the city.

Another subtle factor, in my opinion, is that we´re so comfortable with our individual cars and homes, and individual bank accounts and cell phones and computers - that we don´t feel we need each other. We no longer need each other to gather in the fruit harvest – we just drive to the supermarket on the way home from work. We no longer need each other for the harvest festival – we can sit on the sofa and watch singing competitions online. Yes, sometimes things break, and they need fixing – but we phone an expert, and pay them – we don´t even need to know their name...

We don´t miss the intimacy and unity of community because we´ve never known it... We´re so comfy that we don´t feel the need for it... And then - there are our resistances!

“Be part of an Extended Family – however heartful and conscious – no thank you! I don´t want to be restricted - I want to be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want! I don´t want to live subject to agreements on moral standards, or values, or customs or norms! I don´t want to be tied down – I want to be free!

“It´s difficult enough to commit to one person! You think they´re the right person for you – then you realize they´re not! How can I commit to twenty people?! That´s ridiculous!”

“Like so many others, I come from a dysfunctional family. I´m not going to enter another family! I´ve had enough experience of family, thank you very much!”

“I don´t want to be close to lots of people! I don´t want a whole group of people knowing my inner struggles. I don´t even share my worries and fears with the one or two friends I already have. To be honest – the idea of an Extended Family – even a new, “reinvented” Conscious Extended Family - terrifies me!”

“I actually think the invigoration of the social sphere by weaving together “reinvented” Extended

Families is an absolute necessity – and could certainly serve me and my family in the longterm. But right now I´m too busy to get involved. I work everyday of the week. I get home at around six – then - what with cooking, helping the children with their homework, then getting them to bed – I have no energy for anything else. And at the weekends I just about have time to do the things I can´t do during the week! Seriously – I have no time!”

“I also believe that the Consciousness Revolution needs to devote energy to the cultivation of the social sphere, and I would love to be part of a Conscious Extended Family – but I have no experience in such matters, and I am not a leader, and anyway - I hardly know anyone in my local area! I wouldn´t know where to begin!”

And so on! And every resistance is valid! It´s understandable that people would fear a return to restrictive hierarchies and dogmas. It´s understandable that people would be hesitant to be vulnerable in the presence of ten, twenty or thirty adults - or to commit to a shared life-journey with them. And of course we´ve had traumatic experiences of family, and fear they´ll reoccur. And who isn´t too busy to dedicate themselves to The Consciousness Revolution? And doesn´t the individualized way-of-being of the machine-like, dominant culture keep us all separate from each other – so that we often hear “I don´t even know my neighbours´ names”?!

I am not going to try to out-argue these resistances! They don´t need to be overcome in order for our revolutionary endeavours to go ahead. They need to become part of the conversation. Are we being mindful not to be dogmatic or hierarchical? Are we co-creating an atmosphere of trust – or are we pressurizing each other “to open up”? Are we being sensitive to each other´s histories – letting each person follow their own rhythm? Behind every resistance there´s a heart, a personal story – a frustration or disappointment or fear needing to be heard, to be validated - to be authentically met. Not patronizingly or parsimoniously met – but met with an interest in the gifts it brings.

All of our resistances are valid. We don´t need to “defeat” them in order “to be right”. We can see them as contributions, not obstacles. We can hear them – without being blocked by them. They are a kind of cultural thermostat – helping us remain aware of the actual state of the collective psyche – and helping us refine our endeavours accordingly.

So let us ask two questions... (and then one more):

However oblivious to the need for community we might be, and despite whatever resistances we might have:

1. Do we nevertheless feel the need for a revolution (a full rotation) of our impersonal and violent way-of-being on planet Earth – a Consciousness Revolution, a Revolution of The Heart?

2. Do we feel this revolution needs to include not only the establishment of decentralized, heart-led infrastructures (sphere one), and multi-generational, mass, psycho-emotional education (sphere two) – but also the weaving together of reinvented Extended Families into a vibrant social sphere (sphere three)?

And if so – how do we go about this “reinvention” - in such a way that we don´t duplicate the rigidity and oppression that often characterized the Extended Families of the past?

NOT RE-BIRTHING THE OLD, BIRTHING THE NEW: GUIDELINES FOR REINVENTING THE SOCIAL SPHERE

In this essay I have stressed what I consider to be the pivotal importance of the social sphere. And I´ve insisted that the inclusion of the social sphere of The Shared Heart is crucial to the success of an authentic Revolution Of The Heart.

For me this is not just a passing, intellectual interest. I have devoted my life – and continue to devote my life - to the question of “how” we develop this social sphere – the question of “how” we reinvent the Extended Family (the basic unit of the social sphere) without reproducing the limitations common in the pre-industrial, pre-modern, Extended Family.

I founded the Conscious Tribes Project to explore this question – and then, as I felt my understandings crystalizing - I set out my ideas and suggestions in a book “Love & Revolution”. So here in this last section I want to refer you to the relevant sections of that book, where you can then explore specific points in more detail...

The two most fundamental differences between the Extended Families I propose (which I call Conscious Tribes), and the Extended Families of the past - are (1) that they aren´t based on biology, or bloodlines. Whether one is “in” or “out” of the family/tribe is no longer be dependent on who one is related to. And (2) they share a focus, a direction, a purpose, a path...

“By “Conscious Tribe” I mean a non-biological Extended Family. Or, more accurately - because it might include biological brothers and sisters, for example, or parents and their children – by “Conscious Tribe” I mean an Extended Family not limited by biological bonds.

The Conscious Tribe I am proposing is therefore larger than the modern, biological, nuclear family. And it has a purpose that most modern biological families don´t have: The Conscious Tribe is committed to the path of individual consciousness, conscious relating and conscious action.

The Conscious Tribe is therefore: a non-biological Extended Family committed to consciousness – and a possible evolutionary path for the family as we know it.” (L&R, Ch.1)

That is the kind of Extended Family I propose we co-create – and then weave together with other Extended Families, to form conscious local communities – and in this way ensure the heart-connectedness of our Consciousness Revolution.

Freed from biology, and united in purpose – in order not to duplicate the rigidity of the past - these Conscious Tribe Extended Families also need to be free of hierarchy and dogma. But how can that be encoded into the tribe´s way-of-being? In other words – wouldn´t “no hierarchy allowed, and all dogma prohibited” be itself a top-down (hierarchical), and absolutist (dogmatic) imposition?!

The way I propose we travel together in equality (no hierarchy) and freedom (no dogma) is by using the introspective tool I call Radical Subjectivity, or “Radical Honesty”...

“In Radical Honesty I see that (even if I feel inseperably part of everything) I am perceiving through my senses, evaluating with my mind, feeling with my heart – and I see everyone around me (even if I feel We Are One) as experiencing the same moment differently – through their senses, mind and heart. I realise that my experience is unique – that nobody else, anywhere, is having exactly the same experience as me.

In other words... someone might come to the Conscious Tribe as, let´s say, a Taoist (believing Taoism to be the most subtle, simple and beautiful of all paths), and someone else might come as an Atheist (believing Atheism to be the most honest, noble and courageous of all paths). But both come (and everyone else comes) having realised, individually, for themselves, that I only have my own unique experience of any moment.

This is not a philosophical statement. It is not “nobody has anything other then their own experience”. It is not a statement about other people, or about what is and isn´t possible. It is a purely personal realisation. It is a statement about what one feels to be true - about oneself.” (L&R, Ch.3)

And, of course, because one accepts the limited and subjective nature of one´s own perception: (a) one is no longer dogmatic – presuming to know “the” truth about anything, and (b) one lives in equality (because how can my experience of this moment be “better” than anyone else´s experience of this moment?)!

How the Conscious Tribe Extended Family then learns to live this understanding is their shared learning path. And I suggest the Practice of Conscious Relating (introduced in chapter 3, and explained in detail in chapters 7 and 8), to support the tribe in setting out on that learning path.

All of this is already explained within the first four chapters of “Love & Revolution” - which are available for free download on the Conscious Tribes website homepage. You might then want to go on to read the whole book – which is available as a free ebook (on request), or for purchase as a paperback.

And at the practical level, in everyday life – how would I suggest you create your own Conscious Tribe – and make your own contribution to the Consciousness Revolution we now so desperately need? Firstly – talk about all of this with your friends (see chapter 21, “From Friends to Tribe”) - and let like-minded people know about your intention (see chapter 23, “Forming a Conscious Tribe”).

Then once you´ve begun meeting and exploring the possibility of becoming a Conscious Tribe, I´d suggest having a look at chapter 10, “Tribe Gatherings, Recommendations” - in which I propose making specific agreements about attendance, frequency of gatherings, the structure of gatherings, commitment, and so on – and about including the practice of Conscious Relating - so that the gatherings are not just discussions, but become a nourishing experience of deep intimacy with each other, and connection with The Great Mystery.

There are Guided Meditation Tapes available for free download on the Resources Page of the Conscious Tribes website – and you can use these to support you when you do the practice of Conscious Relating, if you want.

Be clear that you´re not proposing moving in together, or buying land together. That may or may not happen – for some or all of you - much later. But it is not what you are proposing. You are proposing forming a committed, devoted, non-biological Extended Family – a tribe committed and devoted to a shared path of individual consciousness, conscious relationships and conscious action – which doesn´t require anyone to move home.

Ideally, you´ll all live in the same local area (whether that´s a rural area, a town, or a city borough) – which will make meeting, and supporting each other, and collaborating easier. But be realistic – come together with whoever´s enthusiastic. Your tribe might even begin online.

And finally – a note to say that groups and associations and even eco-villages can also lack the social sphere. If you feel this is true for your group - have a look at chapter 24, “Integrating Conscious Tribes into Existing Groups, Organisations & Communities”.

Everything I write about in “Love & Revolution” is intended to help Conscious Tribes form, feel united, and set out on their shared journey together. I don´t prescribe “rules and regulations”. In fact in the section “Flexible Form – Co-Creating Our Own Traditions” (which is at the end of chapter 10, “Tribe Gatherings, Recommendations”), I talk about setting up ways to regularly review and refine everything you do, and how you do it.

In this way every Conscious Tribe will come to have its own personality. Every Conscious Tribe will gradually develop its own processes, practices, projects and mood. And every local community-weave of various Conscious Tribes will also have its own preferences and passions, and textures and style! Even if many of us agree we need to reinvent the Extended Family and co-create the social Sphere of the Shared Heart - what that social sphere will look like – none of us knows!

But we do need a plan. Because - as the great cultural commentator Terrance McKenna wryly observed “if you don´t have a plan, you´ll become part of someone else´s plan”. And you know whose plan that will be! It´ll be the dictatorial, digital, dystopian plan that´s already unfolding...

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Mark Josephs,

"Mark the Mystic Activist",

Aragon, Spain,

Spring/Summer 2025

Mark guides The Conscious Tribes Project.

His articles, stories and poems attempt to convey not only the concept of Conscious Tribes,

but the feeling behind them.

www.tribusconscientes.com

THE CONSCIOUS TRIBES PROJECT

Reinventing The Extended Family